


Shepard Fails to Indent her Elbow and Has to Pay the Grinch a Tax

by jademark



Series: Given Prompts [10]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Crack, elbow indentations, teen audiences bc swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 07:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21352402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jademark/pseuds/jademark
Summary: Self-explanatory.
Series: Given Prompts [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1599073
Kudos: 2





	Shepard Fails to Indent her Elbow and Has to Pay the Grinch a Tax

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a series of ficlets inspired by strange prompts from my sister.

“Shepard,” Miranda said with a smile as Shepard finished speaking to The Illusive Man for the first time. “You must have a lot of questions.”

“So tell me more about the Lazarus project,” Shepard said.

“The Illusive Man wanted you to be rebuilt as accurately as possible. If it were up to me, I would have installed a control chip in you, but I was prohibited from doing so. It would have affected your authenticity.”

“Anything else I should know?”

“Well, yes. As I mentioned before, you do have some cybernetic implants due to the state we found you in. As a result, you may have to manually keep your body in check sometimes.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“Sometimes you’ll have to awaken your joints to prevent them from freezing up, so to speak. You’ll have to tap on your elbow sometimes which will cause your arm to jerk forward for a second. Wilson referred to this as ‘indenting your elbow.’ Of course, you can call it whatever you like.”

“Uh, okay then.”

Months passed, and Shepard did not indent her elbow. One day, Shepard walked over to the galaxy map.

“The Grinch wishes to speak to you in the debriefing room, Commander,” Kelly said.

“Uh, say that again?”

Kelly glanced at her. “The Grinch is ready to speak with you whenever you’re ready.”

“Ha ha, Kelly.”

“I’m actually not joking. It says so right here.”

Shepard walked over to the comm room and stood at the table out of curiosity. A hologram of the Grinch materialized before her.

“Well, you know why I’m here,” the Grinch said.

“What the fuck…” Shepard said.

“You agreed to specific terms and conditions which obligate you to pay me a tax for every 3 months you do not indent your elbow. Well, the 3-month mark has arrived. Pay up.”

“What in the world are you talking about,” Shepard sighed, cradling her forehead in her hand.

“You already know. I don’t have time for this. That will be 10,000 credits.”

“No. Joker, lose this channel,” Shepard looked up. The hologram disappeared, and Shepard turned around and made a beeline to Miranda’s office.


End file.
